365.242199 Days.

2010-05-07T17:50:00.001-07:00

Have you ever been in love?

Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

NEIL GAIMAN

2009-12-28T13:08:00.000-08:00

I like listening to people talk, carry on with their daily conversations, ramble on and on with the same worn thoughts, sometimes thinking of something new. I listen to the same sweet melodies over and over again, pulling you out of them, placing you in the seat next to mine. thankful that you stood up and walked away, no need to hear the pounding you put against the floor so constantly. Alas, the onion I have been eating is someone else's water lilly! I dreaded it to be true, knowing very well how true it was, still hoping for a false fortune. she visits on her break, brings me out to the cold and fills me with smoke, plans of a different place, oh my made of gold friend, I wouldn't do everything but I'll do anything for you.

2009-12-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

this coffee is cold and Im uncomfortable in my seat, I believe that you meant it but you can say what you want and not mean it. I'll try so hard to let you know I'm just fine, I can be just fine. I'll stay in until I leave this town, honestly can't handle seeing any part of you around. these days will come again, Ill see them wandering close by, wondering if they should stop and say hello. Well I can speak, can speak just fine, it's the way I see that can't get me right.

Well that is that and this is this.

2009-11-17T16:48:00.000-08:00

feeling drained, wish I could smoke a cigarette in the library. running out of power, I keep checking it, checking out you. stuck in my little world of gates and smaller people, the days that count are the days you're in. it's hard to believe when you're so sure, you will find you spend a good deal of your life, sitting at red lights

2009-11-16T10:45:00.000-08:00

Sitting at the library, my days have been so good.

Today.

2009-11-09T15:47:00.000-08:00

they'll trick you, you must be so careful
walk on your toes and keep your eyes on the road
I have a confession now, I search the internet hoping something will remind me of you. Something to help me dance tonight, something to think about while Im thinking. I search my garden hoping you left clothing. I search my room for your smell, you are nowhere to be found. I think I've lost you but I don't think we've ever met, you can't speak but it's alright with me. She found my bow and it's such a relief, the air is warmer now and he found your keys.
I miss those times we would fight, I miss the times you didn't want me around, I don't like missing you so I think I'll throw you in the ground. I'll start with your eyes.
no, must not waste the room in my mind thinking such ridiculous thoughts, Ill come pick you up and you'll tell me all about it, I aklways liked it better when you had a cough. you can't believe the things he said to you, that bastard, dirty little bastard he has no soul, he's not looking for the butterflies or the silly little words, he just wants to paralyze you.
Im losing my thought, once I find something I've been searching for I no longer am intrigued, it's six forty three and I must go soon. Don't you miss being the little spoon?